


Only You

by genevieveyoung



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:14:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genevieveyoung/pseuds/genevieveyoung
Summary: "Only me?" Lily whispers breathlessly, staring at James with wide eyes. "Only you," he confirms. One Shot





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. All credit goes to the wonderful JKR

Lily’s never been a fan of Quidditch. Well, to be fair, Lily’s never been a fan of any sport, Muggle or Wizard. She remembers her father taking her and Petunia to a football game when she was little, and the three of them having to leave during halftime because of both girls’ incessant complaining. 

But Lily also doesn’t like Quidditch because: 1. She can never figure out who to follow. The Quaffle changes hands every five seconds while the Beaters hit their ball at everyone else, and the Seeker zooms around looking for the Snitch, 2. It’s always freezing up in the stands, and Lily hates it when she gets stuck next to the rabid fan, screaming his or her head off every time some small thing happens, and 3. The game can go on for _hours_ if neither Seeker catches the Snitch. 

But, Lily concedes, there are some perks to the game. For one thing, Lily has grown to appreciate the uniforms, especially when a _certain_ player is wearing it. For another, Lily has always enjoyed the afterparties. Typically, she, Alice, and Mary will grab a few Butterbeers, then spend the rest of the night dancing. Sometimes, whoever they fancied at the moment would even ask one of them to dance for a while before the pair would disappear out the portrait hole and into the corridor to find a tapestry for some alone time. 

Unfortunately for Lily, nothing has gone the way she’s wanted it to go so far tonight. Alice and her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, disappeared an hour ago, while Mary sits in the corner flirting with Remus Lupin. This leaves Lily standing alone next to the fireplace nursing a Butterbeer.

Lily sighs, leaning against the wall behind her and taking a sip from her cup. She scans the room, trying not to look towards the dance floor. Of course, she’s unsuccessful in her endeavor. Her eyes fall on the lean figure of Zoë Clemmons, her blonde hair gleaming in the low lights of the Gryffindor common room. She moves her hips in hypnotic circles as she writhes against the body behind her. Lily glances at the person behind Zoë and her heart stutters. 

He’s no longer in his Quidditch trousers, and Lily thinks she just might like him in jeans even more than the close fitting uniform. His hair is still damp from his shower, and the top two buttons on his shirt are open, offering just a peak of what’s beneath. Lily has no idea how or when, but suddenly James Potter is the most beautiful person she knows. 

And it isn’t just that he’s ridiculously good-looking, but since becoming Heads, Lily has noticed his better traits, like his unfailing loyalty and honesty. Sure, he still gets too many detentions and lets his arrogant side show every now and again, but he’s also quick-witted and incredibly smart and consistently makes her laugh. Mostly, Lily notices his uncanny ability to always know what’s on Lily’s mind… except for when it comes to how she feels about him. 

She takes a quick sip of her Butterbeer to push back the nausea she feels as James puts his hands on Zoë’s hips. 

“Makes you want to vomit, doesn’t it?”

Lily looks over to see Sirius Black standing next to her, a disgusted look on his face as he watches Zoë grind against James. For reasons Lily doesn’t know, Sirius and Zoë hate each other, which makes Sirius’s reaction all the more amusing. 

Lily makes a noise of agreement and Sirius turns to look at the redhead, his eyes moving over her body slowly. He glances over his shoulder at the dancing couple and shakes his head as he turns back. “Prongs is an idiot,” Sirius says, his gray eyes filled with meaning. He squeezes Lily’s shoulder before moving towards the beverage table. 

Lily sighs again, and eyes the girls’ staircase. She debates heading up to the private rooms she obtained through her Head Girlship. She goes to take another sip of her drink, but her cup is empty. She feels antsy and there’s a fire in the pit of her stomach that flares every time her eyes land on James and Zoë. She’s just about to give into her urge to go upstairs when she hears her name.

She turns and sees Amos Diggory coming towards her. She inwardly groans. Amos is the seventh year Gryffindor Keeper who took Lily on a Hogsmede date in their sixth year. Lily can barely stand to be around him; he’s narcissistic, a terrible conversationalist, and has a tendency to make sexist remarks. Sure, his deep blue eyes, blonde hair, and good-natured smile are enough to make most witches weak kneed, but Lily has already decided she likes dark, messy hair and hazel eyes better anyways.

It was rumored that Amos had made a bet with his friends his fifth year that he could get any girl in the school to fall in love and sleep with him before the end of the year. Poor Ruth Collins from Hufflepuff had been the chosen girl in fifth year, but when Amos and his friends decided to keep the bet going until they left the castle, it had been Lily that Amos had set his sights on. Unfortunately for Amos, Lily had found out about the bet after her Hogsmede date with him, and has since been keeping her distance. But even if she hadn’t found out, she doubts she would’ve fallen for the bloke anyways, considering he had no traits Lily admired or looked for. While she pities the girl, she has no idea how Amos managed to get Ruth to fall for him. 

“Hi Amos,” Lily says, not bothering to hide the coldness in her voice. “Good game,” she offers, giving him a weak smile. 

“I know, right?” Amos says, leaning against the wall behind Lily, and trapping her in place with his body. He gives her a self-satisfied smirk. “I made some amazing saves, didn’t I?”

Lily nods, figuring Amos does deserve some credit for being a decent Quidditch player, but tunes out the rest of what he says as he goes on to describe each save of the four hour game in great detail. She feels her eyes glaze over, and she digs her fingers into the plastic cup in her hand. She looks around the room again, hoping that someone will notice her predicament and liberate her. Alice and Frank are still nowhere to be seen, Sirius is busy chatting up at pretty sixth year Ravenclaw, and Benji Fenwick is playing strip exploding snap on the couches with his friends. Lily’s eyes land on Mary again, who has now shifted so she’s seated on Remus’s lap. Remus is leaning forward, his head in the crook of Mary’s neck, and Lily can make out her friend’s flushed cheeks even in the dim lights. Mary looks up and meets Lily’s gaze, flushing even more as she offers the redhead a shy smile. Lily grins back, even as Mary takes in Lily’s situation and mouths, “Need some help?” Lily shakes her head, not wanting to ruin her friend’s tender moment. 

Lily shifts her weight, trying not to fidget too much. She runs through a list of excuses in her head to get her away from Amos, but as she looks up at him, - he’s checking out his reflection in the metal coat of arms on the wall, still talking, and completely oblivious to the fact that Lily is paying him no mind - she figures he might not even notice if she slipped away quietly. 

She’s just working out her plan on how to slip away when she senses someone looking at her. The hair on the back of her neck prickles as she looks over Amos’s shoulder at the person watching her. Her stomach becomes a sanctuary for butterflies as green meets hazel, and Lily digs her fingers into the stone behind her, the coolness seeping through her fingertips and keeping her grounded. 

The music has changed to a much slower song now. Lily’s a little shocked to realize she recognizes the song; it’s a Muggle song, one she remembers dancing around the living room with her father to as a little girl, standing on his toes as he serenaded her in his off-key voice. The thought of her father makes Lily’s eyes prick a bit, even as her heart pounds erratically in her chest as James and her continue to stare at each other. 

Zoë has turned around in his arms, her cheek leaning against his shoulder, arms around his neck, eyes closed. James rests his hands on Zoë’s lower back, and Lily pretends for one moment that she is Zoë and his arms are around her, pressing her against his chest instead of the blonde. She can almost imagine how warm his embrace would be and how strong and sturdy he would feel beneath her cheek. But then Lily blinks, and the music changes yet again to a faster beat, and Zoë opens her eyes to look up at James, and Lily quickly looks away before she has to watch them snog or look into each other’s eyes lovingly or do something else that’ll make her want to cry and vomit. 

“Oh, your cup’s empty. Lemme get you a refill.”

Lily blinks and looks up when she realizes Amos is suddenly talking to her. She glances down at her empty cup, then back over to James and Zoë, who’ve started grinding again. “God, yes,” she breathes, moving quickly away from Amos and towards the beverage table. 

Amos scurries after her, talking about how he’s apparently a drink connoisseur, and wants to make Lily the _greatest_ drink on Earth. Lily ignores him, going straight for the Firewhiskey. She grabs an extra cup, and quickly fills it and her own. She passes the spare cup to Amos. “Cheers,” she says, tapping her cup against his before tossing the contents of her cup back in one sip. It burns as it goes down, but she relishes in the feeling.  “Another?” she asks Amos, who looks absolutely delighted. He nods, probably thinking a drunk Lily means better chances of getting into her knickers. She refills their cups and tosses back this one as well. 

She goes to refill her cup a third time, when a hand covers the Firewhiskey bottle. “Alright, Evans?” Sirius asks, though the look he gives her says he clearly knows otherwise. 

“Smashing,” she retorts, offering Sirius a smile that was probably more of a grimace. She reaches for the bottle again, frowning when Sirius moves it out of reach. 

“Hand over the bottle, Black,” Amos says, holding out his hand for the Firewhiskey. Sirius ignores him. 

“Are you okay, Lily?” Sirius asks again. Lily can make out the sixth year he’d been chatting up hovering just behind him. 

Lily feels exhausted and she eyes Sirius sadly, but she doesn’t get a chance to respond. “Hogging the bottle all to yourself, are you Sirius?” a female voice asks. 

Lily turns to see Zoë Clemmons sneering over at them.Typically one of the most beautiful girls in the castle, Lily notes that Zoë really isn’t so beautiful when glaring hatefully at people. 

“Oh, wouldn't dream of it Clemmons,” Sirius retorts, sneering right back. “ _Of course_ I’ll share with you. How else will we get that stick out of your arse?”

Lily hides her snicker in her cup, pretending to take a sip while Zoë’s face flushes a violent shade of red. “Better a stick up my arse than a puss spewing dick!” she bites. Lily feels her eyes go wide as she stares at Zoë. The blonde spares her a dismissive glance before glaring at Sirius again. 

“You’re one to talk about my sex life considering you basically just dry humped my best friend in front of most of Hogwarts,” Sirius snorts, not even bothering to be offended by Zoë’s comment. Everyone knew Sirius Black slept around, and Sirius took great pride in the number of notches he had on his bedpost. 

Zoë’s face turns an even darker shade of red, her hands opening and closing as though she is just barely restraining herself from scratching Sirius’s eyes out. She looks about to respond when a smooth, deep voice that makes Lily’s spine tingle stops Zoë. “I thought you were getting us drinks.” James comes up behind Zoë, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“I was, but it appears _Sirius_ has claimed the Firewhiskey for himself,” Zoë replies. Her voice changes drastically, so she sounds sweet and innocent, her bluish-green eyes wide as she grins widely up at James. James glances down at her, smirking back, and Lily turns panicked eyes to Sirius, her nausea hitting her harder than before. Sirius looks at her sympathetically, but shakes his head sadly. 

“Come on, Pads,” James says, holding out his hand for the bottle. Sirius passes it over, shooting Zoë a superior look. “Evans here looks like she might start crying if you don’t share.”

Lily feels her cheeks flare up as she works to school her features. She scrambles for something to say, but Zoë saves her from having to do so. “I _love_ your skirt,” the  blonde says, and Lily can just detect the mocking note in her voice. Zoë moves around Amos, who’s been unusually quiet this whole time, and stands next to Lily, fingering the hem of Lily’s skirt. “Is it suede?”

Lily nods while she waits for the block in her throat to pass. “Yeah,” Lily replies, looking down at herself. She let Alice con her into dressing sexier than she usually did for tonight. She’s wearing a forest green halter top that ties around her neck, and a brown suede skirt that stops mid-thigh. Mary had braided part of her hair back so that it was half-up half-down with wavy pieces falling all around her face, framing it. She even let Alice line her eyes with kohl, making her green irises seem brighter and more mysterious. Lily admits to herself that she conceded to dressing this way because she had someone she’d wanted to impress in mind. “It was my mother’s,” Lily explains, though she has no idea why. “I used a shrinking charm so it would fit me better.”

“Well, you look foxy,” Amos puts in, moving to wrap an arm around Lily’s waist. “You’ve got great stems.”

“Uh, thanks,” Lily mumbles as she pulls herself away from Amos. She glances up at James and finds his eyes on her. He slowly moves his gaze up her body, similar to what Sirius did earlier, only this time Lily feels a heat course through her body, following the same path James’s eye take. When their gazes meet again, his eyes look darker, and Lily bites her lip. His gaze immediately drops to her mouth and Lily finds it hard to breathe. 

“-right Lily?” Lily jumps when someone grabs her shoulder, and she quickly tears her gaze from James’s. 

“What?” Lily asks, looking at Amos. 

“You wanted another shot, correct?” Amos gestures to the bottle in Zoë’s hand. 

“Oh, um, yes,” Lily replies, sneaking a glance at James again. He is watching Amos through narrowed eyes while Zoë fills his cup up. Sirius looks back and forth from James to Lily, his face carefully blank as he holds out his own cup. 

The music changes again, and Zoë squeals in glee. “Oh, I love this song!” she cries, grinning widely at James. “Come on, Jamie! Let’s go dance,” she grabs James’s hand and drags him back to the dance floor. 

Lily turns to Sirius and mouths, “ _Jamie_?” to which Sirius turns his eyes to the ceiling and shakes his head. Lily looks back at the dance floor, only to instantly look away. She doesn’t think she’ll be able to watch anymore grinding. 

“Want to dance?” Lily looks at Amos, who is jerking his thumb to where everyone else is dancing. 

Lily glances over her shoulder to find James watching the two of them again and she feels something violent flash through her. She tosses back the rest of her cup, and grabs Amos’s hand. “Let’s go.”

“Lil-” Sirius starts to say, but Lily doesn’t stay around long enough to hear what he has to say. 

She pulls Amos into the middle of the dance floor till they’re maybe one or two couples away from where James and Zoë are dancing. She makes eye contact with James as Amos moves behind her, grabbing her hips and pulling her close. It takes Amos a minute to find the beat, but once he does, he starts to move, pressing his hips against Lily’s and guiding her along. Lily fights back her urge to shove Amos’s hands off of her, and instead focuses on James. 

He watches Amos and Lily with a dark look on his face, lips pulled down in a frown, and his eyes cloudy. Lily watches as he pulls Zoë tighter against him, Zoë closing her eyes and snaking a hand back so her fingers rest on the back of his neck. Lily feels her throat constrict as James runs a hand down Zoë’s arm, and is once more fighting the urge to vomit. Amos presses harder against her hips, and she arches into him, James’s expression growing darker the longer he watches. She feels Amos’s hands moving to slide under her shirt, and Lily catches his hands with hers, pushing them back to her hips as she pulls away from him some. Amos doesn’t get the message; he moves his hands farther down, till he’s touching Lily’s thighs and then trying to slide his hands under the hem of her skirt. Lily smacks his hands, and pulls away from Amos. “Stop that,” she hisses, turning to face him. 

“Why?” Amos questions, grabbing her waist and pulling her against his chest. Lily puts her hands against him and pushes, but he holds steady. 

“Because I don’t want you to,” Lily replies, struggling to free herself. “Let me go.”

Amos ignores her, lowering his face towards hers, and Lily starts to panic. She quickly turns her head away, and Amos just barely catches her cheek. Lily shoves against his chest again, and finally frees herself. “Stop,” Lily says, her voice harsh. 

“Why?” Amos asks again, his voice filled with annoyance. 

“Because I’m not going to kiss you, Amos.”

Amos glares at her, letting out a frustrated growl. “What the fuck, Lily? What did you think was gonna happen when I asked you to dance?”

“I thought we’d dance,” Lily retorts. 

Amos snorts. “When you grind with someone, you’re basically consenting to getting off with them.” Amos reaches for her again, and Lily backs away.

“Since when?” Lily cries.

“Since always! Merlin, you’re such a tease!” Amos yells. 

“No, you’re just an arse!” Lily shouts back, and she doesn’t care if anyone else hears her. “You think I don’t know about your sick bet?” Amos’s eyes go wide at her words. “I hope you have enough money, because you will _never_ get me into bed with you. You’re a pathetic, narcissistic prick, and I would rather shag Voldemort than you,” she spits, shooting Amos one last nasty look before turning and walking off the dance floor. 

She ignores the people around her, and hurries towards the portrait hole. From the corner of her eye, she sees Remus and Mary look up, both alarmed as Lily storms past them. She doesn’t look up when she hears Sirius call her name, just exits the common room and scurries down the hall. She stops when she’s a good distance from the Gryffindor common room, throwing herself against a wall, and slumping against it. Lily shivers slightly, the cool stone rubbing against her skin. She slowly slides down it, until she’s sitting on the ground, legs stretched out in front of her. She closes her eyes and thumps her head lightly against the wall. 

She feels violated and embarrassed and jealous and like a total idiot. She should’ve known better than to dance with Amos, and yet she did it anyways because stupid James Potter had gotten under her skin at some point in the past few months, and she doesn’t know when, and she wants to cry so, so badly, but she doesn’t let herself because she’ll feel even worse and more pathetic, and he obviously doesn’t want her. Why would he when girls like _Zoë Clemmons_ lavish him with attention and press their bodies up against his? And all his stupid staring and the way he’s been subtly flirting with her for the past few months has all just been for a laugh because wouldn’t it be a hoot if _James Potter,_ the rich, handsome, pureblooded Gryffindor Quidditch team captain, got _Lily Evans,_ the parentless, homeless Mudblood who constantly criticised and berated him, to fall for him? A bloke could make serious money betting on something like that; wasn’t it what Amos had done? 

She thumps her head harder against the wall as her eyes prick. She’s so so so stupid. She feels a sob burst from her throat and she buries her face in her knees as she draws them up to her chest. _Merlin_ , her chest. It’s filled with such a heavy weight, she’s certain she would sink instantly if she were in the ocean, and a part of her wishes she was in the ocean so she could sink. She squeezes her eyes tightly shut, trying to hold the tears in, but traitors that they are, two tears manage to sneak out. 

“Lily?” 

Her head shoots up as she looks to see who’s found her, and she scurries to her feet. Her heart does its usual hard thump as she looks at James, and she hastily wipes away the two tears. He’s looking at her so cautiously, his eyes filled with such concern, and she looks away because she aches and her chest feels simultaneously light and heavy. 

“Go away, James,” she says, hating how thick her voice sounds. She stares resolutely at the window just to the left of where James is standing, refusing to look him in the eye. 

He ignores her words, instead moving closer to her, until there’s only a few centimeters between them. She can make out the maroon color of his shirt as his shoulder comes into her view. She continues to stare at it as her senses become overwhelmed with the scent of him. She feels his fingers on her chin, lightly nudging her face to look at him. She resists for a few seconds before giving in. She meets his eyes, and swears she’s never seen a prettier color combination than that of green, brown, and gold. 

They stand there, not saying anything, James’s eyes traveling over her face as his thumb brushes over her cheekbone. After a while, James speaks up. “What’s wrong, Lil?” His breath is warm against her face, and she tries to keep her eyelids from fluttering shut. 

“Nothing,” she replies, her voice barely above a whisper. It feels wrong to talk at normal volume, despite no one being in the corridor. 

James gives her a disbelieving look. “Lily,” he warns. When she doesn’t respond, he jumps to conclusions. “Was it Diggory? Because if that bastard did anything you didn’t want him to, I swear, I will go in there and rip-”

She cuts him off. “It’s not Amos,” she says. “I can handle overly aggressive blokes.”

“Then what is it, Lil?” He looks so concerned and she’s fighting the need to cry again. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so sad.” His eyes scan her face again, settling on her lips and suddenly her anger and frustration are back. She hates his stupid games.  

“It’s nothing,” she says, her voice harder now, and James’s eyes flash back to hers, surprised at the tone. “I’m fine. Just leave me alone.” She grabs his wrist and pulls his hand away from her face, moving to walk around him. 

He puts his arms up on either side of her head, trapping her against the wall. It’s the second that’s happened to her tonight, but the first time her body’s yearned for less space. She glares at him, but he’s glaring back now too. “Move,” she barks. He ignores her again. 

“Why won’t you just tell me what’s wrong?” he says, his voice almost as hard as hers now, and filled with as much frustration. This just makes Lily angrier; what does he have to be frustrated about?

“Why do you even care? It’s not your business; it has nothing to do with you!” she cries, lying through her teeth. It feels like everything these days has to do with him. 

He growls, eyes narrowing. “I care because I care about you, Lily! We’re friends and friends help each other.” 

Lily hates that word, friends. It’s a cursed word. “Just… go back to _Zoë_. I’m sure she wants to dry hump some more,” she spits. 

He pauses. “What?” James considers her. “What does Zoë have to do with anything?”

“Well, you’re not being a very good date if you’re out here with me, are you? You’re depriving her of precious time she could be spending rubbing herself all over you.”

James rolls his eyes. “That’s not what she was doing.”

Lily snorts inelegantly. “Oh please. You were basically having sex on the dance floor.”

“It’s no different than anything you and Diggory were doing.”

The tears are back again, but this time it’s from frustration. She bangs her fists against his chest, putting all her weight behind the motion, but he merely rocks back on his heels slightly. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” she whines. She slumps against his chest, her body shaking with the effort to contain her emotions. 

He grabs her left hand, and eases her fingers out of the fist. He kneads her palm with his fingers, as though trying to massage the tension from her body. His other arm wraps around her shoulders, his hand holding her head against his chest as she buries her face in his shirt. “Is that what you want?” he asks, his voice soft again.   

No. “Yes,” Lily says, though the hand she still has fisted between them moves to clench his shirt. She can feel the warmth radiating off of his skin through his shirt. 

“Okay,” James replies, but neither of them move. She feels him shift, and he buries his face in her hair. 

They stay like that for what might be hours, and Lily has no desire to move. She feels simultaneously protected and warm, but also cold and lonely since she knows eventually he’ll pull away and go back to Zoë,  but she clings to him for as long as it’ll last. Too soon, Lily feels James pull away. She wants to cling to his shirt desperately and refuse to let him go, but her hand falls away as his chest leaves hers. He keeps hold of her hand still. “Lily?”

“Yes?” 

He hesitates before asking his question. “I’m the reason you’re so sad, aren’t I?”

Lily freezes. She stares up at him, and she reads the certainty in his eyes. She wants to deny it, but she doesn’t have a voice anymore. Instead, she shakes her head vehemently because if he learns the truth, then she loses. She can’t let him win, can’t let him know that he got under her skin, and that all she can think about is him. Because then he’ll break her heart because there is no way James Potter could possibly feel anything for Lily Evans. 

James’s eyes narrow. “Liar,” he hisses, and then he leans down and kisses her. 

Lily’s body reacts before her mind catches up to what’s happening, and she’s kissing him back with as much enthusiasm as his kisses contain. But all too soon, it ends as she pulls back the instant her mind realizes what’s going on. “What are you doing?” she asks, her voice shaking. 

He ignores her, a hand moving to the back of her neck and bringing her lips back to his. She immediately responds, her free hand moving up to his shoulder, and she digs her fingers in as the world spins. _Oh, sweet Merlin_ , he’s good at this, and he’s making her forget her scrambled thoughts and frazzled emotions, but she can’t let this go on without getting more answers first. She pulls away again, and she feels ridiculously smug when he groans at the loss of contact. “What… what about Zoë?” Her voice is so breathy. 

“What about her?” James mumbles, turning her head to the side and trailing kisses over her neck. Lily sucks in a sharp breath when he bites down lightly on the crook between her neck and shoulder. 

“Aren’t… aren’t you with her?” She feels dizzy, the whole world spinning way too fast for her, and her fingers dig into his shoulder again. He squeezes her left hand, which he’s still holding, in response. 

“Why would you think that?” he responds against her jawline, his warm lips dragging across her skin. She can feel his fingers in her hair and it is _so_ good, but her frustration rises up yet again at how obtuse he’s acting. 

“James,” she admonishes, trying to back away from him, but there’s nowhere to go and her back hits the wall. He steps even closer to her so there’s no space between them. “Stop for a second.” 

He pulls back to look down at her, frowning uncertainly. Their  bodies are still pressed together. “What’s wrong?”

“I… we… What is this?” 

“What do you mean?” he asks. 

Lily huffs. “What are you doing? I mean, you flirt with me one week, then ignore me the next. You act like you want to be with me, then go and date other girls. Hell, you came here with _Zoë_ tonight, but you’re out here kissing me. I just…” She doesn’t know how to properly articulate herself. “Is this just some kind of game? A bet between you and the boys? Despite what it looked like, Zoë didn’t want to snog, so you figure go for the broken girl crying in the hallway?” 

He blinks down at her, as though his brain can’t register what she’s saying, but his face quickly clouds and his voice is harsh. “What the fuck, Lily? You really think that low of me? You think I’m just… using you or playing with your emotions?” 

“Well what do you expect me to think?” Lily shouts. She tries to yank her hand free, but he squeezes it harder, almost to the point where it hurts. “You keep contradicting all your actions, and I can’t take it! My _heart_ can’t take it!” She takes a breath, trying to calm herself as she quivers uncontrollably. James is massaging her left hand again, the action soothing. “You asked me if you’re the reason I’m sad, and much as I don’t want it to be, it’s true. I can’t stand watching you with her, not when you make me think there might be something between us. So please, _please_ James, if this is just some… game, please stop because it hurts so much.” Her voice cracks and those damn tears are back again, but she lets them come now. 

“Oh, Lily,” James sighs. He cups her face, brushing away a few tears, and leans his forehead against hers. His eyes are dead serious when he speaks again. “There is nothing between me and Zoë. I swear to you.” His eyes drop from hers for a moment before returning mere seconds later, blazing with intensity. “There’s never been anyone but you.” His voice is quiet, but firm. 

Lily’s heart speeds up again. “What?” 

“I- I’m not good at any of this, Lil,” James says, looking slightly nervous. This shocks Lily almost more than his words. Since when is James Potter nervous? “The emotional stuff. I’m not good at expressing myself, but just like how you said I got under your skin, you’ve gotten under mine. Only you’ve been there for a long time. Too long maybe…” he trails off and seems to forget she’s there for a moment, but then he blinks and he continues. “I never meant to hurt you, Lil, and I’m sorry I have. So sorry, sorrier than I can probably express, but you need to understand that there is no Zoë or any other girl. There’s only you.” He kisses her quickly. 

“Only me?”Lily whispers breathlessly, staring at James with wide eyes. 

“Only you,” he confirms. 

He kisses her again, softly, hesitantly this time, like he’s offering her an out if she wants it, but Lily doesn’t want it, could never want it, and she pushes herself up on her toes to press her lips more firmly against his. She hears him exhale and can’t help but smile at his relief. When they pull away for air, Lily asks him another question. “But why the other girls then?” She can’t help herself; she’s spent months obsessing over this question, prodded Sirius time and again for answers he couldn’t give. 

James looks a little sheepish. He twirls a strand of her hair around his finger. “I don’t know. I guess I just always thought nothing would ever happen between us.”

“So why…?” She indicates the utter lack of space between them. 

James smirks, shrugging. “Guess I thought I had nothing left to lose. Either you’d push me away and continue hating me, or the impossible would happen.”

Lily can’t help but grin widely at his words, and this time she kisses him. She wraps her arms around his neck, and pulls him firmly against her, moving her lips over his. His mouth is warm and tastes like Firewhiskey. His arms wrap firmly around her waist, practically lifting her off her feet as he kisses her back fervently. 

“Jamie?” she asks between kisses. 

James groans. “Please don’t call me that.” He pecks her lips one, two, three, four times. “I can’t stand it when she calls me that.”

She buries her fingers in his hair, holding his mouth against hers. “Mmmmm, James,” she hums as he moves to kiss her neck again, nipping and sucking at her pulse point.

“ _Fuck_ , Lily,” he mumbles as their mouths meet again.  She loves the sound of her name on his tongue. His fingers grip her hips tightly, and Lily feels like she might pass out from how good this is, but she doesn’t dare pull away. 

It feels like this goes on forever, the two of them kissing in the corridor, not even stopping at the sound of footsteps. “Well, looks like you don’t need comforting,” says an amused voice. 

James groans and pulls away from Lily, a small sigh of disappointment escaping her at the loss. “Go away, Padfoot,” James says, quickly returning to Lily’s lips. 

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay Lil,” Sirius ignores James. 

Lily pulls away this time, glancing over at Sirius through hazy eyes. He grins shamelessly at his two friends, and Lily feels her cheeks heat up even as she offers Sirius a small smile. “I’m fine, Sirius. Thank you.”

“So, I guess I should tell Zoë to bugger off then?” Sirius asks, sounding far too excited about telling Zoë her date had ditched her than he should be. “‘Cause she’s been looking all over for you, Prongs.”

“Tell her she can go shag Amos,” Lily responds, and James’s laughter vibrates through her body. “Bloke’s gonna be out of some money very soon. ‘Least he can have a good tumble before then.” Both Sirius and James crack up, and Lily’s chest swells, and it no longer feels heavy. No, now she feels light and airy and like she can breathe again.

Sirius hurries off to spread the message, and James turns back to her, leaning his forehead against hers. They stare at each other like they can’t believe the other is real. “So,” James starts. 

“So,” Lily grins, waiting for him to continue. 

He steps back and she’s about to complain, but he holds out a hand to her. “Would you like to dance?” 

Lily takes his hand, and laughs when he dramatically spins her around and dips her. He moves them around in that fashion for a few more minutes, before slowing and pulling Lily close to his chest. She leans her head against him and closes her eyes, feeling safe, and warm, and loved.    

 

 

 

   

                       

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes: 
> 
> Hey guys! Just wanted to point out a few things in case anyone was curious:
> 
> 1\. So when Zoë tells Sirius she hopes he has a "puss spewing dick", she's saying that she hopes he has syphilis. I just want to make clear that he does NOT actually have syphilis, Zoë's just referencing to the fact that he sleeps around a lot. So the lesson is: use condoms!
> 
> 2\. The slow song that I thought of when Lily's dancing with Amos is "Waiting For A Girl Like You" by Foreigner. It originally came out in 1981, so it's after Lily and James's tamest technically, but I love the song, and my dad used to sing it to me, just like Lily's father did for her. 
> 
> That's about it! Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> xoxo Evie


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